i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
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