I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
