Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
