she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
