We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize
