what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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