just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
