sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
