One girl and one boy is just not enough.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
