I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
