I heard we made out
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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