Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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