My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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