I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Randomize
