According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I'm too high and old for this...
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
