I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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