Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize