Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
