i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
