I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
