I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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