Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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