i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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