Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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