ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Randomize
