??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
My penis needs a shock collar
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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