Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize