just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
