Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
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