I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
