apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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