we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
