What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
