we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
