Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize
