Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Randomize
