my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
