Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
