rhymes with "ouble enetration"
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize