I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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