out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
