Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize