i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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