I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
