Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
