Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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