Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
