if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Shame is for Republicans.
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