nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I don't want my vagina anymore.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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