so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
