I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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