Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
