hotel room ftw
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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