I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
