the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
It's shark week go big or go home
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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