i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
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