Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I wish you could order shots online.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
