I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
