Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
