My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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