"it" just moved
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Randomize
