i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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