i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
