Whatcha textin bout Willis?
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Randomize
