This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
COCAINE IS GR8
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Randomize
