I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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