obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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